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The following was published in the weekly bulletin of the Edgewood
Congregational Church in Edgewood, RI (January 30, 1971)
He always wanted to say things. But no one understood. He always
wanted to explain things. But no one cared. So he drew.
Sometimes he would just draw and it wasn't anything. He wanted to
carve it in stone or write it in the sky. He would lie out on the
grass and look up in the sky and it would be only him and the sky
and the things inside that needed saying.
And it was after that, that he drew the picture. He kept it under
the pillow and would let no one see it. And he would look at it
every night and think about it. And when it was dark and his eyes
were closed, he could still see it. And it was all of him, and he
loved it.
When he started school, he brought it with him. Not to show anyone,
but just to have it with him like a friend.
It was funny about school. He sat in a square brown desk like all
the other square brown desks and he thought it should be red. And
his room was a square brown room. Like all the other rooms. And
it was tight, close and stiff.
He hated to hold the pencil and the chalk with his arm stiff and his
feet flat on the floor, stiff, and with the teacher watching and
watching. And then he tried to write numbers. And they weren't
anything. They were worse than the letters that could be something
if you put them together. And the numbers were tight and square and
he hated the whole thing.
The teacher came and spoke to him. She told him to wear a tie like
all the other boys. He said he didn't like them and she said it
didn't matter. After that they drew. And he drew all yellow and
it was the way he felt about the morning. And it was beautiful.
The teacher came and smiled at him. "What's this?" she said. "WHY
don't vou draw something like Ken's drawing? Isn't that beautiful?"
It was all questions.
After that his mother bought him a tie and he always drew airplanes
and rocket ships like everyone else. And he threw the old picture
away. And when he lay out alone looking at the sky, it was big and
blue and all of everything, but HE wasn't anymore.
He was square and brown and his hands were stiff, and he was like
anyone else. And the thing inside him that needed saying didn't
need saying anymore.
It had stopped pushing. It was crushed. Stiff. Like everything else.
*******
(This poem was turned in to a teacher in Regina, Saskatchewan, by a
senior in high school. Although it is not known if he actually wrote
it himself, it is known that he committed suicide a few weeks later.)