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SUGGESTIONS FOR PARENTS OF ABLE CHILDREN
37
John C. Gowan
1. They are still children. They need love but controls; attention but
discipline; parental involvement, yet training in self-dependence and
responsibiltiy.
2. Consonance of parental value systems is important for their optimum
development. This means that there should not be wide disagreements
over values between parents.
3. Parental involvement in early task demands, such as training them to
perform tasks themselves, to count, tell tlme, use correct vocabulary
and pronunciation, locate themselves, and get around their neighbor-
hood, do errands and be responsible are all important.
4. Emphasis on early verbal expression, readlng, discussing ideas in the
presence of children, poetry and music are all valuable. Parents
should read to children. There should be an emphasis by parents on
doing well in school. ***"
5. The lack of disruption of family life through divorce or separation,
and the maintenance of a happy, healthy home is an important aspect
in raising able children, as well as other children.
6. Since able children often have vague awareness of adult problems such
as sex, death, sickness, finances, war, etc., which their lack of ex-
perience makes them unable to solve, they may need reassurance in
these areas.
7. Parents can see to it that the gifted child age six or above has a
playmate who is as able, even if he has to be "imported" from some
distance .
8. The role of good books, magazines, and other aids to home learning,
such as encyclopedias, charts, collections, etc., is important.
9. Parents should take the initiative in taking able children to museums,
art galleries, educational institutions and other historical places
where collections of various Sorts may enhance background learning.
10. Parents should be especially careful not to"shut up the gifted child
who asks questions. In particular, he should not be scolded for ask-
ing questions, nor should it be inferred that his is an improper or
forbidden subject. The parent may, however, insist that questions not
be asked at inappropriate times, and he may require the child to sharpen
or rephrase his question so as to clarify it. Sometimes questions
should not be answered completely, but the reply should itself be a
question which sends the child into some larger direction. When the
parent cannot answer the question, he should direct the child to a
resource which can. Sometimes questions call for clerification of
concepts, as with the young child who asked, "Why aren't all those
rockets liable to shoot down God?"
11. There's a difference between pushing and intellectual stimulation.
Parents should avoid "pushing a child into reading, "exhibiting" him
before others or courting undue publicity about him. On the other
hand, parents should seek in every way to stimulate and widen the
child's mind, through suitable experiences in books, recreation, travel
and the arts.
12. The gifted child usually has a wide and vetsatile range of interests.
but he may be less able to concentrate on one area for a long time.
Parents should encourage children who have hobbies to follow through on
them, to plan and strive for creditable performance and for real mas-
tery, rather than "going through" a lot of hobbies or collections in
a short time.
The National Foundation has not found the kinds of schools that these
children can survive in, let alone do well in!
page 2.
13. Parents should avoid direct, indirect or unspoken attitudes that fan-
tasy, originality, unusual questions, imaginary playmates, or out-of
ordinary mental processes on the part of the child are bad, "different"
or to be discouraged. Instead of laughing at the child, laugh with
him and seek to develop his sense of humor.
14. Parents should avoid overstructuring children's lives so that they don't
have any free time. Sometines parents are concerned that gifted children
spend some time in watching TV or reading comic books. While they should
not spend all their time in doing so, they cannot be expected to perform
at top capacity at all times.
15. Respect the child and his knowledge, which at times may be better than
your own and impatient of authority. Assume he means to do right, and
the deviations are not intentional. Do not presume on your authority
as a parent except in crises. Allow much liberty on unimportant issues.
Try to give him general instructions to carry out in his own way rather
than specific commands to carry out in yours.
16. Gifted children are sometimes impatient of conventions. Have a frank
talk with your child about the importance of conventions, such as driv-
ing on the right hand side, where he can see the social advantages and
then point out that other conventions of politeness, manners, courtesy,
and regard for others have similar bases in experiences.
17. Whenever possible talk things out with him where there has been a disci-
plinary lapse. He is much more amenable to rational argument than are
many children and usually has a well developed sense of duty.
18. Give him the stimulation of private lessons in some skill in which he ex-
cels. See that he has social membership in worthy groups. Foster spec-
ial experiences outside the home by his traveling alone, or visiting
friends overnight. Try to facilitate his chance to talk alone with an
adult authority in some line that interests him.
19. Try to improve his sense of taste in mass media, TV, radio, cinema, news-
papers, comics, reading, art, etc.. Discuss the basis for taste and give
him some experience with new forms of expression in the arts.
20 Take time to be with him, to listen to what he has to say, to discuss
ideas with him.
21. Be a good example yourself, and try to find worthy adult model figures
of both sexes outside his family for him to know.
22. Support the school efforts to plan for able children. Help to interest
the PTA in the problem. Support study groups on gifted children. Form
with other parents into cooperative endeavors.
23. Investigate scholarship programs of your community for other gifted chil-
dren and help provide them.
24. Work to provide better community understanding of, and appreciation of,
the role of the able child in society and the importance of community
planning .
25. Support community action for able children, including bonds and school
taxes for extra educational advantages. Advocate more guidance and
special education for the gifted.
Dr. John Gowan has written widely in the field of the gifted. He is an
expert on the uderachiever who is gifted. This paper for Parents is
taken from the book: EDUCATING THE ABLEST -- a book of readings on the
education of gifted children...Edited by John Curtis Gowan and E. Paul
Torrance. The Foundation recommends this book for all interested people --
and any other books written by these two researchers.
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