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401-737-0180
THE NATlONAL FOUNDATlON
FOR
Kevin's Case History by His Mother
Kevin, from the time he was very young, had strange interests in
drawing, animals and the inner workings of most mechanical things. I
remember particularly an incident that occurred when he was just
four years old. We owned an old paneled truck and used to go fishing
at night frequently. This truck had a series of dome lights that the
children could turn on and read or color by. The lights on one side
stopped working and Kevin's father said that he would fix them on
his next day off. In the early morning of that day, Kevin came into
our bedroom and told his father that he had already fixed the lights.
When his father went out to check, sure enough, the lights were all
working. He asked Kevin to show him how he had repaired them. Kevin
had removed the domes, found and cut off the broken section of wire,
and rewired the light. He had learned to do this by observing his
father working on cars.
Kevin was anxious to begin school and enjoyed kindergarten. His
teacher said that he needed to be kept busy and interested enough to
satisfy his curiosity. She showed a great deal of affection to Kevin
and he obviously liked her very much.
His first grade teacher, other tthan conplaining of his activeness,
seemed to do well with him and we had no problem that would not be
normal to children of that age.
During the first part of the secand grade Kevin was given extra help
with his reading and was still progressing rather well. Just before
the beginning of the third quarter we moved to another part of the
same town. My children had left the only home and neighborhood that
they had known. We had also, that summer, ex-perienced the agony
of a still-birth. Both of my younger children had been particularly
excited about the addition of a baby to the family, and I spent many
hours trying to help thern understand what had happened.
Within a week or so of being in the new school, problems began.
The principal of the school called and asked for a conference. My
husband and I went to the school. We were told that Kevin was having
a very hard time doing the work in his class and was very far behind
academically. This man said that Kevin's prior school was not as
advanced as his and recommended that Kevin be put back in the first
grade for the remainder of that year. Neither of us were pleased but,
because we believed that he did have the best interests of our child at
heart, we finally agreed. We begin receiving calls from this man
complaining about Kevin's behavior. I explained to him the stress that
this child had been through and asked him to be more patient with
Kevin. His response to me indicated more concern for his school rules
and hls image as an administrator than for the children in his
school. These rules included restricted access to rest rooms,
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"These ckildren must learn control." absolute quiet during lunchtime and being
lined up against the school wall during recess for "being boisterous". I told
kim that I thought his rules were unreasonable for gramnar school children and,
in the case of the rest rooms, unhealthy and illegal. He was clearly told that
I would not stand for this rule being enforced with my children.
Neither of my children were happy with the new school, but there didn't
seem to be anything that could be done. Other than several more calls about
Kevin's behavior, the ramainder of that year was relatively calm. We were asked
to consider having Kevin repeat the grade again and refused.
Early in the second year at this school, we again began receiving calls
about how poorly Kevin was doing. I met with his new teacher. My initial im-
pression was that she was a nervous wreck. After many complaints about his
behavior, she told me that my son was a compulsive liarl When I asked her how
she had reached that conclusion, she said, "Kevin has been acting very strange.
He has been daydreaming and not paying attention. When I asked him what the
matter was, he said his father is in the hospital and he's worried about him.
when I asked your next-door neighbor's children about this, they said they didn't
think he is, so Kevin is lying."
I told her that my husband was, indeed, in the hospital and that I resented
her prying into my private affairs. My neighbor's children had no way of knowing
what the truth was. 'This neighbor, at that time, was president af the P.T.A.
at the school. She had not been friendly to us at all and would have been the
last person on earth I would confide in.) After this meeting I went to the
principal of the school, told him this woman's attitude taward my son, and asked
that he be placed in another room. I was told that this was not possible, but
that he would have a talk with her.
Approximately a month later, the principal again called and said that Kevin's
teacher had requested an evaluation of him because she thought he might have learn-
ing problems. At the next meeting with this man, I told him that I thought the
problem lay more with their handling of the child. Because I was becoming more
upset daily with the situatian, I consented to the evaluation. I hoped that some
good would come out of it. They would surely recognize his potential and use a
better approach toward him.
The tests were done in November of 1979. Part of the process involved
separate interviews with me and the school social worker and psychologist. The
psychologist was somewhat antagonistic toward me when I told her how I felt about
the school's past actions. She clearly didn't think much of working mothers.
The social worker listened very attentively to me and agreed with me that some of
my complaints were valid and my ideas about Kevin should be given some credit.
When I asked her if she would include that in her report she said, "Oh no, that
would cost me my job!" They both tended to lay the blame for the problem on our
"negative attitude" toward the school.
The results of the testing were: "Kevin is a youngster of above average
overall potential who scores in the superior range in some areas." They wrote
off the school difficulties as "behavior and social-emotional adjustment". What
was their solution? "No special edeational support is recommended." Individual
and family counseling was recommended. At the rneeting with the representative
from special education I asked what would be done for Kevin. Kis reply to me was
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that Kevin had no learing disabilities. I asked him what program would suit
his "above average" potential. He said that Coventry had no such program in
grammar school. He said he would speak with the teacher and the principal and
see if they could use a better approach with him. Other than the fact that his
teacher did have a little better attitude toward him, nothing was done. Kevin
didn't like or trust this woman, felt that the principal hated him and generally
was rebelious for the remainder of the year. The calls from the school continued
and we kept trying to reason with the principal. The special education depart-
ment could no longer be "involved" since it was "out of their field".
Third grade went much better. Kevin liked his teacher because she at least
was "fair". She didn't have a totally negative attitude toward him and gave him
credit when he did try. The principal remained as dogmatic as ever. We received
another request for an evaluation but refused permssion. What was the sense?
We were also having problems with our eldest daughter at the high school at this
time.
At the beginning of the fourth grade Kevin liked his teacher. He seemed to
be happy in school. This didn't last long. We again began receiving calls. My
husband went to the school and spoke with his teacher. We were trying to encourage
Kevin at home, but often had conflicts between ourselves about just what the real
problem was. Kevin's actions at home did not reflect the reports from school.
My husband tried to get suggestions from her, explained again the difference in
our observations and the schools. We tried to discipline Kevin at home by restrict-
ing privileges, but this only made him and us more unhappy.
Despite all her indications of concern for Kevin and her desire to help him,
we later found that his teacher deliberately took statements my husband made out
of context in a written report to support her own views. Kevin later told us
that she was keeping a record of every move he made in class. We were constantly
reminded of oor "negative attitude" and at times felt that perhaps we were re-
sponsible for most of the problem. We both were confused and guilty. We felt
that the school was retaliating at us through our child because we were "trouble
makers". For their part, the school seemed unwilling to recognize that we were
both working and not able to attend every conference they decided to schedule.
We received another request to have Kevin evaluated. This time it was clearly
intended to write him off as an emotional problem and label him behaviorally dis-
ordered. I felt that this would destroy Kevin and told the principal of the school
that we had had enoough of his nonsense and no more testing would be done unless
we would be listened to. He said that he would get action whether we liked it or
not. He was sick and tired of us and our son. One week later we received a cert-
ified letter informing us that an appointment had been made with a psychiatrist
for Kevin and us. I called the special education department in Coventry, but
everyone there was busy and couldn't speak with me at that time. I then called
the Department of Education in Providence and was referred to Mr. Ritchie, who
was in charge of special education programs in this area. I told him what was
going on. He said that the town couldn't do this without my permission and he
would call Coventry. He called back and said that the town would call me. I
told him that I was not satisfied with just stopping their action. I wanted
the right kind of program for Kevin. We could not afford private schooling. He
said I would have to explain this to Coventry's people.
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A few minutes later the director of special education for Coventry called
me back. He was very upset that I had called the state. I told him that I was
not going to allow them to just ignore the situation any longer, there must be
some sort of routine that would benefit Kevin. Again I was told that there
was no such program. The only other response we got was a letter telling us
that the evaluation would not be conducted against our wishes.
About a week later we got a call from the principal telling us that Kevin
had attacked another child in the school yard. We went to the school. Upon
questioning this man, we found that he had misrepresented the situation to us.
We questioned the aide and she told us that Kevin had pulled on a chain that a
little girl had been waving in his face. This was far different from him going
up to her and pulling it off her neck with no provocation, as we had initially
been told. At that point we took Kevin with us and went to the office of the
superintendent of schools. We insisted that he see us and were prepared to wait
all day if necessary. He did meet with us quickly. He listened to us and said
that he would instruct the special education department and the principal to
meet with us. He spoke with Kevin, and told us that our son deserved the same
right to an education as any other child. He would instruct the special education
office to work out some kind of agreement with us. We waited.
We later received a letter from the superintendent saying that he was glad
our meeting had been held and the problem was being resolved. I called him and
told him there had been no meeting. He said he would call himself and find out
just what was going on. Ten minutes later I received a call from the director
of special education asking me when it would be convenient to have this meeting.
He was clearly upset and nervous.
At that meeting the principal told me that Kain was being given a social
promotion to fifth grade. I told him that this would not be enough. He had
been sent out of the room so often that he was far behind. I was told that we
should send him to summer school, at our expense.
I again expressed my opinions of Kevin's talents and said I wanted better
efforts made to correct the damage the school had done. The principal became
upset and said that any exceptional program had to be recommended by the school
principal and he would not do this. Kevin was totally a discipline problem.
Kevin's teacher told me, '"You want us to let him run the school. Just make
him happy, that's all." She went on at great length on how bad he was, until
even the director of special education told her to stop and criticized her ap-
proach with this child. The principal then produced a contract for behavior
control. I read it and told him that it was not acceptable to me because it
was clearly punative and contained no encouragement or incentive for Kevin.
After much argument and discussion, we finally drew up an agreement that would
prevent Kevins being sent from the room for all except a serious disruption. It
also allowed him to take the special art class that he enjoyed so much and
allowed him time for independent study in science, again a subject he enjoyed.
This was dependent on his doing his classwork. I was not totally satisfied, but
at least it was a start.
Kevin read the agreement, said he thought it was a fair deal and liked the
time offered for art and science. Due to the closing of another school, the
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principal was being transferred and I hoped that the change in administration
would be beneficial. During that summer we worked with Kevin on math, his worst
problem. He didn't like it much but he did try. He was now very resentful
toward anything associated with school. During the summer his attitude improved
and he looked forward to the next year with some hope of a better situation. My
husband and I also felt that with our primary antagonist out of the picture
things would be better.
At the beginning of the fifth grade I went to the school and met with the
new principal and Kevin's new teacher. I told than what I had been through and
that I felt Kevin still carried a great deal of resentment. I felt that they
would probably bear the bbunt of his frustrations, even though they had not
caused the problem. I told them that he would test them to see if they really
meant to stand by him. His teacher didn't say much except to question a few
things and express his concern that Kevin not control the class. I told him
I did not expect him to allow this, but I wanted him to understand just how much
hurt had been done my child.
The new principal told me that as far as Kevin was concerned, he had a fresh
start and they would try to work out any problems in a more positive way. He
expressed sympathy for what we had been through, and asked our assistance at
home in emphasizing that this would be a more positive situation now. He thought
that the contract would be a reminder of unpleasantness, and didn't want to use
it. I didn't want to lose what little ground we had gained and he finally said
they would work it out. I do believe the man did try, but later the situation
got out of control.
The first part of the year wasn't too bad. Kevin couldn't seem to decide
what his feelings were toward the situation. We kept trying to be positive and
encouraging. His school work was not very consistent. My husband went to the
school to see his teacher. He said that he thought Kevin was very smart, but he
couldn't seem to reach him. Kevin at least liked the new principal and wasn't
being constantly blamed by him for all the woes of the class. He felt that some-
times his teacher was good, but at other times unfriendly. His words were, "I
think he's giving up on me." I spoke to the principal about this and was assured
that this was an excellent teacher and no one was giving up on Kevin.
At the end of the second quarter we were informed that Kevin was failing
almost everything except art. We asked that his missed assignments be sent home.
The list we received would have been impossible to complete over the vacation,
but we gave it a try. We found that Kevin could do the work at home. Why not
in school? More confusion! His teacher expressed the idea that no matter what
was done, Kevin would not pass. My husband contacted the principal. He talked
to Kevin, tried to encourage him and said that if we really tried he could make
it. Both he and the teacher expressed dismay at not being able to find the "right
button to push", as he put it, to motivate this boy. By now my husband and I
were again disagreeing about the problem. We were tom between feeling that
Kevin was just being stubborn, and wodering if the attitude of this man was
much different in the class room than when we saw him. We felt that at least
the principal was still trying to help and had a much more relaxed attitude toward
the boy. He was willing to treat most small pranks as boyhood nonsense and not
criminal acts. In retrospect, I think the teacher felt threatened by this child.
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In March, 1983 my husband called me at work and said that the principal had
called him saying that Kevin was in the office threatening to cammit suicide. I
told him to go to the school, get Kevin, and try to find out what was happening.
A meeting with the principal was arranged for that evening. When I arrived home
I asked Kevin what had happened. He said that he had been sent to the office for
something that wasn't his fault and had told the secretary that for all the fair-
ness that was available in that school he might as well jump off the roof. This
was after she had scolded him for being sent in. This was what was reported as
a serious suicide threat.
At the meeting that evening the principal producced a small pen drawing that
Kevin had done. It was a female figure in an action pose, nude fram the waist
up. My initial comnent was that it was beautiful. Nudity is not offensive to
me. There was nothing dirty about this picture. It was singly beautiful and
very skillful. I don't think this was the reaction he expected. After a few
moments he added that yes, it was good and Kevin was very talented. Art was
good as a hobby, but other things were more important. I told him that I thought
he had over-reacted to Kevin's comments. He said it was his legal duty to notify
us. He then said that he thought Kevin had very serious emotional problems.
When I asked him to be more specific, he said that Kevin's teacher had told him
that he had a weird attitude toward sex. He then repeated a statement that he
had overheard Kevin making. It sounded like the punch line to a dirty joke to
me. I don't approve, but I understand the fascination of most preteen boys with
sex well enough not to be shocked. He strongly recomnended that we work with
the school psychiatrist. I told him that at this point Kevin didn't trust the
school at all. We told him that we would consider the situation and then make
a decision and let him know the result.
On the way home, my husband said, "My God! Now they're trying to label the
kid a suicidal sex maniac!" We decided that at this point we would obtain a
totally independent evaluation and that the scchool would not know of it until
we were done. Now we didn't trust them either. We contacted our family doctor.
He didn't think anything was wrong with Kevin but suggested that we have him
evaluated for our own protection. His recommendations led us to contact Bradley
Hospital. We went for an initial interview and scheduled future sessions.
We insisted that Bradley not use the school records until later in the
process. We both felt that we had had enough of their attitude. Bradley thought
this was unusual, but finally agreed to it. Back at school, Kevin's teacher had
moved his seat to behind a file cabinet and had began to send him from the room
for even the slightest incident. Kevin told me that this man had began to keep
records on him too. When I asked him what kind of records, he said, "Everything.
If I drop a pencil, he writes it down. Why can't teachers just teach? That's
what they're paid to do."
During the first week of April we received a letter from the principal
making vague threats of action that would take the situation out of everyone's
control. My husband showed the letter to a friend who is a lawyer. We had re-
quested copies of all records of Kevin's at the school, including the ones being
compiled by his teacher. We had not received them. The lawyer wrote to the
school informing them that we were in the process of having an independent eval-
uation done, requesting the records, and telling them that we would contact them
when we had all the information together. 'Ihey finally complied with part of this
request. We still do not have the papers and record his teacher was holding.
The schools reaction to this was to lodge a complaint against us with the
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Department of Children and Families. We were now uncaring parents.
When the social worker came to my home, unexpectedly, I told her I didn't
even have to ask who had called them. I showed her the letter from the school
and the copy of the letter our lawyer had sent in response. She read them and
said 'Tell me just what's been going on." I told her that she probably wouldn't
believe it. She replied that the sad truth was that she probably would. When
I had finished relating to her basicly what is contained in this report, she
gave me a piece of paper with the name of Marie Friedel and the phone number of
the foundation on it and said that she could help us. When I asked her how she
could be so sure of this, she told me that she had been through a similar ex-
perience with the Providence school system with her own daughter and Marie "was
the only one who helped me keep my sanity throughout it all". She said that
she wanted to see Kevin at home, not in school, because if he thought she had
anything to do with the school department he would be hostile. I agreed to
let her visit with him. During the time of the two visits, we found that Kevin's
teacher told him in front of the entire class that he was crazy and should be in
an institution. We received later a letter from this man refusing to take Kevin
on a class field trip unless one of us would go with him to insure his safety.
He stated to Kevin's older sister that her brother '"has problems" when she went
to the school to pick up assignments for him.
We later filed charges of assault and battery against the teacher after he
pushed Kevin against the wall in school as the children were coming in from re-
cess. The police investigated the charges, but most of the children in line had
"seen nothing". 'Ihe teacher, of course, denied it. At this point we kept Kevin
out of school for the remainder of the year.
We continued with the evaluation at Bradley and were told that Kevin did not
appear suicidal or depressed. The psychiatrist sent us a summary of her report.
'Ihe psychologist, who had reported that he suspected a minor learning disability
that the town had missed in their evaluation, refused to furnish us with a copy
of his report. He wants to send it to the school. The social worker was very
upset that we had contacted a lawyer, said that the school had over-reacted to
Kevin's statement, and was upset that we had told Kevin that the school had been
wrong with their treatment of him. I find it strange that despite my telling
them of Kevin's exceptional art talent, they have never requested to see any of
his work.
When I asked for recommendations for schools, the first name I was given
was the Gordon School. Later I was sent a letter recommending either Rocky Hill
Day School or the Briggs School. Thee Briggs School specializes in programs for
emotionally disturbed children. I had been previously told that Kevin did not
need such a program, only extra help with math. It seems that Bradley can't
make up their minds and are very reluctant to put any opinion in writing. I sent
copies of all the school records to them and asked for their opinion in writing
on how the school had conducted themselves. I have received no answer. Bradley
seems also to want to blame the parents for the problem.
Marie Friedel is now in the process of evaluating Kevin.
Written by Kevin's mother |
