Your Gifted Child

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Your Gifted Child - Part 2

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are very modest. Some don't even believe that they are brighter than other children, or that they can do some things that are impossible for most other children to do. One educator said: "They need to be built up far more than they need to be taken down." When some of these children can't learn a new skill quickly, they may actually feel inferior and develop a deep sense of insecurity, They are more critical about themselves than most other children are.

Some few gifted children may be intellectual snobs--but these are rare and much of the way they act probably reflects their parents' attitudes.

Such a child needs to know that he's lucky to have a quick mind or is able to create or perform in a certain way, and he should be thankful for that. He should also learn to know that a bright mind, or any other kind of a gift, in itself is by no means the most important thing in life. It won't by itself make him a better person or a more valuable member of society.

They need to understand themselves

They need to know wherein they differ, and learn to accept and understand their own individualities. They need to be helped to value variety among human beings, as they value variety among plants, animals, and the days of their lives. They need to realize that differences among people are often of ultimate value to the human race.

Why are so many wasted?

With such rich endowments and possibilities for success, why is it that when so many gifted children grow up they fail to fulfill their early promises? There are many reasons. Because of financial trouble in the home, some promising children are forced to quit school and get a job. Once they

quit, they never seem to get the encouragement that makes it possible for them to return to their studies. All too many of them end up in dull jobs, a great waste to themselves and a loss to everyone else.

Many gifted children fail to follow through because they are disappointed in school. With little effort they sail through the regular assignments. Then they have to slow down, spend a lot of time waiting for their classmates to catch up. For lack of something to do, they may become mischievous or restless troublemakers, a trial to classmates and teachers. They sit through endless repetition of lessons and facts they already know. They get bored. They are never challenged enough to learn how to sit down to steady work until they finish a job. They get an idea that all learning is easy. Good habits of independent work may never be developed. They become satisfied with ordinary performance. Some may not even last out high school. Some of those who do enter college find that they are spoiled for the hard and steady work required and as a result do poorly or fail.

Among the most tragic reasons why a child may lose out is indifference of parents or lack of understanding. There were Ruth and Lewis for instance.

Ruth's parents were so busy leading their own lives that they didn't have much time to give her. "Mother's (or Daddy's) in a hurry, ask me some other time." This wasn't an unusual occurrence when the parent was very busy and hadn't the time to sit down for a question-and-answer period. Ruth's parents never seemed to have time. They never talked with her about her studies, what interested her and what didn't. Finally Ruth decided that nobody was interested in her. "They don't care," she said. "It doesn't make any difference whether or not I ever learn anything."

Lewis' family was upset when they learned that he ranked exceptionally high intellectually. "We've never had anyone like that on either side of the family," they told the teacher.

"We've heard about those brainy kids. Can read before they cut their teeth, but by the time they're grown all burnt out. We don't want that." His grades finally converted Lewis to their attitude. His grades reflected it soon.

Many neglected do get by

Some parents, and teachers, too, get the idea that since Sam is bright he has all he needs to get along. All too often they say: "We don't have to worry about Sam. He'll get along all right."

True, a great many of the Sams and Susans do get along all right. Often they do so in spite of a great deal of neglect. They do well in schools, go to college, get good jobs, marry, live pleasant and even happy lives, make some contribution to their fellowmen. But still they may not be producing to their fullest.

So regardless of what some parents, teachers, and other persons may think, the gifted child needs help, guidance, and teaching, as does any child. In order to develop, the ability a child is born with has to be fed and encouraged. It must be given a chance to expand, increase, enlarge. Starting with birth, this developing process must continue through his growing up.

A talent, given a chance, will grow. Rut rebuff it time and time again, and it becomes stunted or dies. There's hardly a limit to how far some of these children may go when they can satisfy their curiosity, explore their powers, and give full rein to their imagination.

What sets them going?

Why is it that Joe and Peg work hard to make the most of their talents while Mack and Jennie allow theirs to dwindle away? What starts Joe and Peg going and keeps them going? What sparks their drive to accomplish and suc-

ceed? In other words, what motivates them? Without that spark, ability can be unproductive or undiscovered. Often a child wants to do a thing so much that his drive to do it makes up for what he lacks in ability. He puts in so much effort and work that his little talent is blown up into an unusual accomplishment.

On the other hand, just lack of opportunity and unfavorable circumstances or conditions may snuff the spark in a child's ability. Poor physical or emotional health may hold him back. He may not even realize that he's good at a job. Possibly he never had a chance to show that he could do it. Maybe he's lost interest in getting anything done. Sometimes a child's parents or the community are not interested in what he can do or wants to do. Sometimes the spark is smothered by his rebellion if his parents are pushing too much, piling too much on him, expecting too much.

Certainly for a child to make the most of his abilities he must want to do so. When he doesn't want to learn, the chances are that he won't learn. What he takes in will be very little.

It's a lucky child whose parents have been able to make him feel that learning is a very satisfying process, is worthwhile, and can even be a great deal of fun.

For example, learning is a family affair with the Taylors. They found out early that father and mother and sisters and brothers working at something together is good learning in itself. They play board games together, work puzzles, listen to the radio and watch TV, read together, listen to phonograph records, visit various places of interest. They talk together about what they've been reading, seeing, hear ing, and doing. Mr. and Mrs. Taylor don't expect each child to get the same thing or the same amount out of what they do. They want them to have fun and enjoy what they are doing. They want each to be "improved" and profit by what he is doing to the extent of his interest and capacity. If Phil, the oldest boy, or Penny, two years younger,

wants more of any project, where the other children seem to have gotten enough for the time being, a plan is made for the interested child to get more of that project.

Sometimes a parent and one of the children have a special interest in the same thing. It may be airplanes, or bugs, or Alaska, or rockets, or dramatics, or folk dancing, and call for special activities. Helping a child to get started or keep up an interest in stamps, railroads, clay modeling, or a variety of hobbies has been known to make a fan out of the parent. And sometimes it is the reverse. The parent's interest sparks the children.

If possible, let your child have the widest possible variety of contacts with creative people and institutions. Many adults will arrange to give a child some time and attention if he wants it and if he is interested in their specialty. Meeting and getting to know such persons often gives a child a direction, a sense of purpose. Such a tie has often marked the route a child advances long after he has forgotten the person in whose footsteps he is following.

What about praise?

At one time, praise was considered bad for a child. Now we feel it helps build self-confidence. Every child needs it. But it must be sincere and deserved. "That's fine" and "You have done a good job" are all too rare. There can scarcely be too much honestly earned and honestly offered praise.

The gifted child may get praise only for those things in which he's talented. Aware of this, some parents look for other things to praise that have no bearing on his gifts. These may be for qualities that are desirable and are likely to be common in all human beings.

If your gifted child has brothers and sisters, be sure that they get adequate attention and praise too. They need such moral support just as surely as he does. Not getting

it is bad for them--and for your gifted child. If he consistently gets much more praise than they do, his brothers and sisters and other children may see it as favoritism and may penalize him. Thus an intended reward may prove to be punishment.

Even more than praise, the gifted child wants and needs respect for what he contributes. Especially does he need this in his dealings with adults, where, quite often, his ideas and opinions are more at home that with his age mates. When he is a part of such a group of grownups, he should be listened to, his statements considered and weighed--and discarded if need be--like any other contributor.

When he asks questions

With gifted children, the question-and-answer period may seem to be a continuous process. Don't brush off a sincere or genuine question your child may have. If you are unable to answer it, tell him so. He'll respect you more for this than if you mislead him or give him the run-around. Tell him that you will try to find out--or that you will help him find out--but only if you really intend to do so. Always being willing to answer or discuss questions encourages more questions and keeps his priceless curiosity alive. In this way, he grows and develops.

Sometimes instead of giving an answer you may know, urge him to try to find the answer himself. This will help him take another step on the road to independence.

He'll need good tools

Every child ought to have access to the rich world of books and materials. To the gifted child, this is a necessity. Books are tools through which a child can go far in learning for himself or seeking information he wants. Even at a very young age, the gifted child begins to show

an interest in books. At first, he won't need a great many. It's fine, however, to be able to buy books and have them around the house until he's ready for them. But if owning them is not possible, borrow them from the library. Libraries are extending their service into all sections of the country. A short talk with the librarian will answer many of your problems about books for your young child. He learns how to learn in using the library.

As he grows older and will be doing his own reading, he'll want to have the use of books on a variety of subjects. Reference books, such as encyclopedias, atlases, dictionaries, rate high with gifted children. It's not unusual at all

to see a gifted child walking along the street, carrying under his arm a biography of some great leader, a book on science, and two comic books. He'll read fiction and comic books as well as books on science, art, travel, nature, and how to do it.

One mother suggested that all gifted children have a chance "to meet" a good second-hand bookstore early in life. She has found that often such a store is operated by a gifted child emeritus" who has a great deal of understanding in helping children explore.

Supply the gifted child with materials. Gifted children are very good at making the most of what they have. But, to advance, hell need the right kind of tools. So when you see material that you think will help him in his projects, find out if he really wants it. If he does, let him go with you to select it. He'll like it better if he has a part in choosing it.

Every child needs some place in the house that will be his own. If he has his own room, that's fine. If space is a problem, a card table in a corner will please him, or a bookshelf. He needs a work space for his projects and hobbies. Most of the time it may look untidy to you. A folding screen can shut off his corner from view when he's not working.

Until you know your child's special play interests, choose a wide a variety of materials as possible: paper, crayons, paste, dolls, scissors, modeling clay, finger paint, water colors, cardboard boxes, building blocks, pieces of wood, scraps of cloth, a magnet, a compass, a magnifying glass a microscope, a flower pot or window box for growing plants, or a little garden, printing and chemistry sets.

Use your community

Few communities exist that haven't something of interest to a curious young boy or girl. A grownup may look

around, see only the long familiar, and dismiss it as having nothing to offer a child. Let your youngster be the judge. Give him a chance and it may surprise you how much he--and possibly you--will learn.

When he gets to the age where he can be trusted on his own, let him explore alone with his brothers and sisters-- some of the spots around the community.

Good teachers have long known the need for young inquiring minds to touch on many things. Children in most schools consequently have an opportunity to explore the community, and thus add to their experiences.

Some projects set up by the schools to bring the community to the child are: trips to the zoo, the botanical gardens, museums, printing plants, dairies, farms, churches, courts, housing projects, all kinds of manufacturing plants, stores, concerts, quarries, docks, hikes, observatories, histori- cal sites, the police station, firehouse, hospital, Salvation Army quarters, library, manufacturing establishments, Chamber of Commerce, a college or university.

Their children's school lacking opportunity for such trips, one group of parents organized their own project to teach the community to the children. With parents alternating as guides, each Saturday a group of neighborhood children went on a tour. Many communities set up programs independent of schools to add to the variety of opportunities for its children. A civic club may organize a choir for young people. A library may start reading or writing classes. Museums may organize art classes. An interested person may set up music appreciation projects. Churches, Boy Scouts, Girl Scouts, Campfire Crirls, 4H Clubs, the Y's have a variety of programs for children and young people. If you feel that your child is being discriminated against through lack of adequate resources, don't hesitate to seek advice from the most notable people you know. Talk about your problems with the school principal, your minister, priest, or rabbi, your family doctor or lawyer. Often you will get very helpful advice.

Over-scheduling is a hazard

In an effort to help their child, many parents over schedule his time. As one parent put it: "What Bill needs is some way to stretch out one day to 48 or 50 hours." Adding extra-curricular activities to a child's regular day should be done only after careful consideration. Because they want to please their parents, some children dutifully try to meet their heavy schedules. Many others, however, rebel and be-

gin to refuse to do really important things.

Sometimes the child himself has to be restrained and has to be taught to make choices among the so many things that challenge his many interests. In many cases, the reach of gifted children often exceeds their physical ability to cope. Parents must remember that their gifted child is first of all a child and should have a chance at the joys of childhood. When his day is so crowded with planned activities and supervision, little or no time is left to think, to dream, to play, or to wander about with his own thoughts. The gifted child needs time for such things as much as any child, perhaps more.

Although most parents are thinking of the welfare of their child, there's a chance that they may want to live his entire life for him. They may dominate him completely. They may pay no attention to his likes and dislikes. They may try to pick his friends, his hobbies, what he does, his clothes, and finally his career.

The gifted child especially wants and enjoys having a part in planning his own life. Setting him apart, doing everything for him, deciding what he will and won't do, overprotecting him, is bad for him. The gifted child can usually follow through to completion on a task without constant supervision. Wise parents begin early to allow him some freedom of choice and freedom to meet life on his own.

Stimulation? Pressure?

Where does encouragement end and pressure begin? If this question could be answered, a great many other questions would be easy. Children differ, parents differ, situations differ, environments differ. Hence, each parent must answer the question for himself, about his own child. Even within the same family, the stimulation-pressure line can be at vastly different levels for each child.

There are some cautions, however. Consider what the child wants, what interests him. Give him as much freedom of choice as possible within the reasonable restraints of family life. Rather than be accused of pressuring, some parents give their child a variety of materials and opportunities and wait for him to make the first move. Even the very young gifted child likes to have some say about what he should do.

Your child's first schooling

Any child is lucky if his school has a good library of books and music, if it has motion picture projectors and money for renting or buying films, if there is room for classes to be divided into interest groups during some of the school day or week, if there are up-to-date globes of the world, encyclopedias, microscopes, and chemistry labs, and other tools that will help a curious young mind find answers.

Also, a child is lucky if he's in a school where teachers have the time to give him special help and guidance in his reading, special advaanced instruction in such interests as creative writing, literature, science, and dramatics, and special thought to his contribution to the school itself and it's services.

With 30 or 40 or even more students in a class, most teach ers have all they can do to keep the average boy and girl stimulated and at work. If there is any more time, it usually goes to helping the weakest to get along better. The gifted children by necessity get only crumbs of time and special attention.

Parent-teacher partnership

Your child's teacher and school will be able to do more for him when they have your confidence and cooperation. When parents and teachers work together a child has a, much bet-

ter chance of reaching full development. When they are partners, there's much more likelihood that deeply hidden talent will be brought to light.

Wise parents will try to know their children's teachers personally, will work through parent-teacher associations or school council's to improve school facilities and increase the competent school personnel. They know that such efforts wherever added will be assets to the gifted child.

Parents will seek to understand more about the whys and hows of modern education methods. Some parent-teacher associations have observed "parents-go-to-school days" in which parents go through a school day. In some communities, regular school is dismissed so parents may go to school to learn what their children are being taught. In other communities, where such an ambitious program is not possible, a school day has been condensed into an evening. The aim of such a program is to increase the understanding and appreciation of what the schools are trying to do.

Being a good school patron is a part of being the right kind of parent. There are many ways in which parents with insight and imagination can work to improve the schools. Wise parents for the good of their child will not make a nuisance of themselves, will not demand special privileges, nor take too much of a teacher's already crowded time in complaining over conditions that the teacher personally has no power to overcome.

Instead, the good school patron can work through the parent-teacher association and other citizen groups to ease schedules, to reduce the number of students in crowded classes, to give the teachers more time for important guidance and attention to individual students, to increase school budgets to provide fur more and better school equipment or to give more room for students to work and learn.

Such work to improve and strengthen your school will benefit not only your gifted child but also his less able brothers and sisters and schoolmates. In fact, teachers have

found that any effort to improve the education of the gifted is felt throughout the entire school.

Some parents band together

Many parents of gifted children feel that talking over their own problems with other parents who have similar problems helps them find answers. In greater and greater numbers, parents over the country are joining together for this purpose. A great many of these groups have become affiliated with the National Association for Gifted Children, 409 Clinton Springs Avenue, Cincinnati 17, Ohio. although organized by a group of psychologists and school administrators, the National Association has always been open to individual parents or groups of parents or lay persons who are interested in the problems of the gifted. Through the parents' page of its magazine The Gifted Child Quarterly. the National Association makes it possible for its members to communicate with each other regarding problems and resources for gifted children.

More schools plan for gifted

Each year more and more schools over the country are giving special consideration to the gifted child. They are working to recognize and draw out special talents and develop them fully. All these schools are taking into account the fast rate at which a gifted child learns and his wide range of interests. However, schools have different ideas as to what ways are most effective in reaching their goals.

Three of the most common ways schools are providing for the gifted are acceleration, enrichment, and ability grouping. These may be used alone or in combination.

Acceleration, which allows a child to advance at a faster pace than the average child, may take different forms. A child may be allowed to advance a grade, usually with safe-

guards against skipping any necessary material. Or he (or maybe a whole class of his equals) may be allowed to complete a grade more quickly than the school schedule usually permits. Or 3 years of work may be combined into 2. Or a child may be allowed to enter school a year earlier than is the general rule.

Enrichment of a program makes it possible to keep a gifted child in the same class with his age mates by giving him subjects or material in addition to the usual studies. These additions not only add to his development, but they also keep him profitably occupied while he waits for his classmates to catch up. This eliminates some problems of friendship and social adjustment. The enrichment may include story writing, dramatics, debates, research problems, science projects, study of literature and biography, current events, individual instruction, social recitations, trips, teacher-pupil conferences, a foreign language. It is a poor kind of enrichment that requires a gifted child to complete 10 problems while the rest of the class complete only 4, or lets him dust erasers, or do any other such task just to keep him busy.

Special grouping may take a number of forms. In some schools, the exceptionally able are brought together for just one period a week. In a seminar, they discuss their voluntary reading and choose books for the next week. In other places, they are brought together for a part of each day to discuss subjects of current interest and study and to do many kinds of creative work. In large schools, gifted children may form a special section. In some large cities, they are brought together in special schools.

How about college?

Why is it that so many of our brightest boys and girls don't go to college? There is no simple answer to this question which is a great

deal more complicated than many people realize.

Although this problem needs more study some facts are known. We can safely say that one of the big factor is lack of money. But more than that is often involved.

How a family feels about its children going to college determines in large measure whether children will attend or not.

Children of college graduates are more likely to attend college than children of parents who didn't go to college. If a college education is the accepted thing, then the child usually goes. If not, he may not go. How a child's companions feel has much influence on his going or not going.

City children who can live at home while attending college are more likely to go than those who live in rural areas. Boys are more likely to go to college than girls.

Make plans early

When a child is nearly ready to finish high school, it's much too late to be making decisions about whether or not he'll go to college. Such a decision, many educators feel, should be in the making as soon as there is fairly sound evidence that he can adequately accomplish college courses if he tries. Surely by the time the child is in the eighth grade the decision should be made and his studies planned accordingly.

With such long-range planning, the gifted high school senior is less likely to find that his grades aren't good enough for college acceptance, or that the high school courses he has taken are not the ones that he must have to do effective college work or even for him to be accepted in some colleges.

The cost of a college education is another thing that needs to be looked into a long time before a boy or girl is ready for higher education. Going to college takes a great deal of money. When 2 or 3 from one family may be in college at one time, few families can finance it without sacrificing

heavily. The average yearly cost of a college education in a State school is about $1,500. The cost in a private college is about $2,000. This covers tuition and fees, board and room, clothes, transportation, books, and recreation.

However, each year a college education is becoming increasingly possible for an increasing number of young people through part-time employment, scholarships, and student loan funds.

Some students think of a fellowship "handout" or nothing. Available student loan funds often are unused. Some parents urge their children to make use of such resources, feeling that we borrow for so many things, why not borrow if necessary for the important investment of a college education.

Talk with the principal of your child's school. He may be able to give you specific information about obtaining scholarships or loan funds. Or write to the college your child is interested in attending about possibilities.

The gifted child's ideal

A great many articles about gifted children have talked about the kind of teacher who is best for a gifted child. Children themselves have been asked. From their answers you can get a fairly clear idea of the kind of person they want to be their teacher.

They want a friendly, alert, understanding person, fair and helpful. They want consistency in their discipline. They want a person who is strong and healthy and has a sense of humor. They want someone who will let them assume some responsibility. They want someone who will give them challenging assignments and demand that they be completed; who will allow them to be different and not resent it if they know more about a subject than the teacher himself. They want to like and respect the person who teacher them and to regard him as an example.

Self-appraising parents will want to take a look at this picture, too, knowing they are, after all, their child's first, most important, and most continuing teacher. Don't despair. Few of us--parents, teachers, or anyone else for that matter--have all of the qualities that it takes to be the ideal parent of a gifted child. Possibly, every such parent has often thought: "This is too big a job for me. I'm not up to it. I don't have what it takes. I can't give him what he needs."

At those low-ebb moments, before you question your adequacy, consider the meaning of this important fact: this child didn't just happen. What he is, you have given to him or helped him fashion.

And another fact that you should never forget. Maybe you can't match his brightness with brightness. There are others whose job that is anyway. Those things you, father and mother, can give him are unique and precious: happy good mornings and safe good nights, an occasional lap to rest on, pancakes for breakfast, an arm to hold him steady and close, an outstretched hand, and the thousand other daily acts--some forgotten and some forever in memory-- that only parents can give us.

And remember this, also: for all of the lacks that you may feel, you have one ingredient that he needs greatly, something he doesn't have and won't have for a long time. That is your experience.

Life can become very thrilling for both of you as your child grows, as you work along with him--helping and guiding when necessary, but standing aside when that is called for, too. High and joyful possibilities open before both of you.

Great satisfaction can come from seeking a wide range of contacts with the physical, mental, and spiritual worlds. Even greater satisfaction can come from helping a promising flame become its brightest. You, indeed, are fortunate. Be glad for the rich, full yielding and rewarding years that lie ahead for you and your gifted child.

For sale by the Superintendent of Documents, U.S. Department
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U.S. Government Printing Office: 1964 0-734-846